He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
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I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
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Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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