HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
