no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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