the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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