wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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