I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Randomize
