I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize