His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
