Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
