she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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