i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
