awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
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some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
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Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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