he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
