I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
