he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Every concussion has its silver lining
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
