she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
If I die, sorry about rent.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
