Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
