He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
