yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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