We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
