she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
