Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Randomize
