I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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