we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
