So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
