A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
