Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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