i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
A+ Viking dick
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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