he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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