I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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