You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
