ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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