im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
