so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
