I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
