I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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