He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
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I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
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And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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