I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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