those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
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