Walk of Shame. In a state park.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
