dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
