I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
