I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
