i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
