Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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