So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You made out with two different species that night
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
