I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Randomize
