He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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