Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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