i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize