normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
