You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
