I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
