Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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