a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
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