bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
