I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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