Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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