just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
