Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
