WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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