god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
