office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
